Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
