ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
