We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
