yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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