im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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