She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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