I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
