can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
