Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
