when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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