i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
