yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
