You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
