I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ugly people sure do ruin things
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
