don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
