am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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