it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
