I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
