I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
