peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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