my phone needs a breathalizer
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
