yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
