Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
