it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
