I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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