i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
