Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
