Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
