perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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