I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
