we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
