she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
