guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
