im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
