He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Randomize
