Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
