Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
