I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
