There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
