I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
