I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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