i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
