I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
