i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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