And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
