Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
