is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
3pm strippers are depressing
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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