Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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