butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
