I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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