He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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